The four humors theory of ancient medicine dictates that your body is ruled by four liquids: blood, black bile, phlegm, and choler. Any imbalance of these liquids causes physical and psychological distress. Too much blood? You’re sanguine in nature, and prone to sexual abandon as well as extreme apathy. Black bile? Melancholy plagues you, but you also have a deep connection to god. Let’s find out what your problem is.